


(what lovely poetry we’ve found) sharing space without a sound

by cafeseok



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Boys In Love, Cuties, Fluff, Happiness all around, Love Confessions, M/M, Soft Boys, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, except i only did 4 plus 1 lmao, i still dont know how to tag shit, i wrote this at like 2am be nice, im lazy, seonghwa is smitten with san, soft, that’s his baby, the phrase i love you is used a LOT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 19:47:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19383517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafeseok/pseuds/cafeseok
Summary: four times seonghwa says “i love you” to san, and the one time he doesn’t have to.





	(what lovely poetry we’ve found) sharing space without a sound

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at like midnight but didnt finish going over it till 2am so if u see any mistakes i missed im so sorry i tried D: lmk in the comments if i should write more ateez stuff!! 
> 
> yell at me on twt about sanhwa and yunho - @/softsgirls

the first time he says it, they are seventeen and sitting in their old treehouse in the backyard of san’s summer house. san is telling him about his favorite constellations, pointing them out in the night sky. he’s got a whole universe behind his eyes and seonghwa wonders if this is what heaven is; just him and san, forever and always, until the end of time. san feels him staring. he looks over, knocking their shoulders together. “it’s rude to stare, you know,” he snickers, and seonghwa blushes.

“sorry,” he murmurs, looking down at his lap. san scoots closer, and their knees touch. seonghwa feels a million fires light behind his ribs.

“what’s wrong?” san asks, concern on his face. seonghwa turns his body, sitting criss cross applesauce in front of san. san does the same, and seonghwa curses the boy in his mind. he’s too cute for his own good. seonghwa thinks it’s got to be bad for his health to be that cute. taking a deep breath, seonghwa talks.

not really, more like he says three words and san has to ask him to repeat them. “ _i love you_.” it’s out, into the world the words go. san is the one staring now.

”y-you _love_ me?” his voice is tiny, and his eyes are wide. seonghwa nods, embarrassment clouding his face. then he hears san giggle. “are you sure?” san asks, wide smile on his face. seonghwa hits his friend on the thigh.

“yes i’m sure, what the fuck san,” he laughs, and san giggles again. “stop laughing at me!” but seonghwa is laughing too. they laugh together, until san lies back once more to look at the stars.

“i’m glad you love me,” he whispers. he isn’t looking at seonghwa, but the words reach him. seonghwa lies back as well, scooting so their shoulders touch. the stars hover above them, like tiny worlds awaiting their arrival. seonghwa hums. “sannie,” he starts, and the boy looks over. “why do you like the stars so much?”

san thinks for a moment. “i think, because they’re always there. even when i can’t see them, i know they’re up there. they give me comfort, they anchor me and let me know i’m alive. i know as long as i have them, maybe things aren’t so bad, ya know?”

seonghwa doesn’t know, but he hopes maybe one day he will.

–

they are twenty-one, it is december, and san is cooking in the small kitchen of their shared apartment he’s wearing a kiss the cook apron, and his hair is dyed midnight black. he’s got five ear piercings and a tiny dove tattoo on his wrist. seonghwa thinks he’s beautiful.

he comes up behind san, arms going around his waist and he presses his lips to the top of his head. san gasps, but leans back into the warm embrace. “taste test!” he says happily, holding a spoonful of the food he’s cooking up to seonghwa’s mouth. seonghwa chews, moaning at the taste. “good?” san asks, going back to stirring.

“delicious,” seonghwa gives him a kiss on the cheek, to which san happily blushes at. seonghwa sets the table, grabbing two wine glasses from the cabinet. they are men of taste, and know a good meal comes with delicious wine.

as they eat, san knocks their ankles together under the table. they chat about work, about what tv show they need to start watching together. san suggests black mirror, but seonghwa says the good place.

they compromise in the end, a phrase which here means san pouts until seonghwa puts on the first season of black mirror.

as they watch, seonghwa whispers softly in san’s ear, “ _i_ _love_ _you_.”

san responds by telling him to shush, but links their hands together over his tummy, squeezing gently. a gesture that says _i love you too._

–

they are twenty-four and fighting. seonghwa lets out a frustrated sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “will you please just listen to me?” he begs, and san throws his arms up.

“will you just answer my question?” san retorts, backing up when seonghwa takes a step forward. “seonghwa, please.”

it’s silent for a while. they stand on opposite sides of the room, hearts threatening to shatter at any second. san’s hand shakes. seonghwa can feel the blood in his veins.

“i’ve been secretive lately haven’t i?” he asks, and san rolls his eyes. “i was waiting for the right moment to do this. it was hard getting everything the way i wanted, since neither of us are good at time management and you’re so hard to please,” san fights back a smile.

seonghwa reaches into his pocket. the box feels heavy in his hand. san feels ready to black out as he watches his boyfriend get down on one knee. the ring is simple, no big diamond sitting atop it. just a simple stone, but san thinks it’s perfect.

“san, _i love you._ i’ve loved you since we were seventeen, and i’ll love you until i can’t remember how old we are. you’re a mess, you steal the blanket, and take my socks,” seonghwa says through tears, “but i can’t see myself loving anyone but you for the rest of my life. will you marry me?”

there’s a beat of silence before san starts crying, blabbering out i love you’s and yes’, and he cries even harder as seonghwa slips the ring onto his finger.

on their wedding day, after their best man (hongjoong) gives his speech, san gives his. he compares seonghwa to the universe, among other beautiful metaphors. he says seonghwa shines brighter than ten thousand stars.

this is a lie, seonghwa thinks. because no star shines brighter than the one he just married.

–

they are thirty-six and seonghwa is holding their baby girl. she is two years old, and she is coming home for the first time. they adopted her from a sweet young woman named jisoo, who happily handed her off to a loving family who she knew could care for her better than she could.

they name her jisu, after her mom.

jisu sucks on her thumb as seonghwa talks to her, showing her around their home. she reaches up and pokes at his eye. san watches from the kitchen where he is making jisu a cup of juice. “and here’s daddy and papa on their wedding day! papa was so handsome wasn’t he?” san hears seonghwa say. jisu makes a happy noise, and san feels his heart contract.

jisu falls asleep a few hours later, all tuckered out from her long day. they put her to bed in her own room, staring fondly at her sleeping figure. san gently rubs his finger over her smooth cheek, feeling his eyes well up with tears. seonghwa pulls him into a hug, smiling to himself. “that’s our baby,” san says, and he says it with so much love that seonghwa’s chest aches.

“our little baby,” he replies, arms pulling san a little closer. “you’re going to be the best father in the world,” he whispers close to san’s ear. he presses his lips to the side of san’s head, letting them linger for a moment. “ _i love you so much_.”

san just cries more, but his heart feels content. he feels at home. he knows this is exactly where he’s meant to be.

–

they are now forty-two, and they have two kids. jisu and seyoon. jisu took to having a little brother well. “i’ll be a noona!” she’d exclaimed, jumping on her bed in her yellow pjs.

seyoon and his sister sit at the table, jisu feeding him noodles. seonghwa chews on leftovers from the night before, simultaneously making sure jisu doesn’t make a mess. san walks through the front door, barely closing his umbrella before he’s bombarded with hugs.

jisu squeals as he picks her up and twirls her around. “hi angel,” san says, kissing her nose.

“hi daddy,” she giggles, kissing his nose too. it’s their little tradition.

“and here’s my two favorite boys,” san leans down to blow a raspberry on seyoon’s cheeks, much to his delight. he swings his arms, and seonghwa moves to catch his little bowl of noodles before it spills. san gives him a thankful look before pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

jisu is between them in an instant, begging seonghwa for her favorite jelly candy. san picks her up, noting that she’s probably too big for it now. “have you ate all your dinner?” he asks firmly. jisu nods, pointing to her empty bowl of ramen. “were you good for papa today?” another nod. “okay. . . but just a few jellies,” san says. jisu yells in happiness, jumping from san’s arms to run to the cabinet.

as san goes to follow her, he looks over his shoulder at seonghwa. they share a look, one that says so much but also nothing at all. a look of contentment, of happiness, of love. seonghwa doesn’t say it, but san knows.

_i love you._

years ago, seonghwa had asked san why he loved the stars. san had replied that the stars gave him comfort. they let him know he was alive, they were his anchor. and that as long as he had them, maybe things weren’t so bad. at the time, seonghwa didn’t understand.

now, looking at his two children and husband, who shine brighter than all the stars in the millions of universes that have ever existed, and the millions that will exist, seonghwa thinks he finally knows what san had meant.


End file.
